Success is my only motherfucking option, failure's not

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i think about this person i love 24/7 i couldn’t live with out him now it would literally ruin my life i seriously i don’t think i could finish off college. But i’m scared i hold him back from what he wants to be doing i’m older and want to be more serious everyone tells me to just stay friends but i care about him way too much waaaaaaa i hate life